So, I was at the Corvallis Book Bin yesterday, trying to sell some books. (I ended up buying far more than I sold--a common, if ironic, occurrence.) I had noticed when I came in with my armfuls of resale fodder that there was a table set up for an author to sign books. I glanced at the book, but it was something political so I wasn't really interested.

Later, at the checkout counter, the guy who had been sitting behind the table at the entrance came up to me and started talking to me about his book. Interestingly, his conversation was not at all about the merits--or even the content--of his book, but entirely about the fabulous bargain of buying it for half off and getting him to sign it. An author-signed book for $12! he kept saying. What a deal! I was trying to decide how to point out that it wasn't really a deal if one didn't want to buy the book in the first place, when I was distracted by the fact that his words weren't coming out real clearly and he was unusually desperate-sounding for a published author. Hmm...
I quickly ran through the possibilities: drunk? high? inherently inarticulate? extremely sleep-deprived? so dazzled by my beauty (ahem, unshowered that particular morning) as to be rendered incoherent? In the meantime, he was explaining how his book was a study of "focus groups" and their perspectives on America... or something like that. I decided not to ask what the heck were focus groups.

When he finally wandered off, I raised my eyebrows at the girl behind the cash register and she rolled her eyes. "We're getting ready to kick him out," she told me in a low voice. "He's getting drunk and is making himself a nuisance. We're going to call the manager."

I considered asking where in the 'verse this guy was getting alcohol in the middle of a used bookstore but just settled for "Good plan."

"Yeah. It's getting worse..."

And I left by the other door, musing at the tragic loss of my illusions that published authors were brilliant, articulate people. This afternoon, I looked his book up on Amazon. The blurb gives me no helpful information about what the heck focus groups are or why I should care about their unique view of America. Anyone interested in helping me out on this one?

In other news, I've been randomly looking at YouTube vlogs, such as the vlog brothers, and it makes me tempted to start a vlog myself. But then I realize that I'm much, much more eloquent in text than in person, and I had better just stick to my regular blog and leave the live-action humiliation to the experts.

However, I was inspired by the Google web meme from Hank Green's video, so I decided to try it out for myself. Basically, all you do is take your name with a verb and Google it and see what you come up with. Here are the verbs: needs, looks like, says, wants, does, hates, asks, likes, eats, wears, was arrested for, loves. Enjoy.

"And mustard is all Devon needs." Yes. That really was the first one that came up. Promise.

"devon looks like his old man" Yet another tragic consequence of having a gender-neutral name.

"Devon Says No to Regional Government Petition" Darn right. And She Means It!

"Devon wants to protect our water?" Or does she? Maybe? She is not sure?

"Devon Does Baja" Sadly, this is from a p*rn site. I've learned from previous Google excursions that I share a name with a rather popular (ahem) film star.

"Devon Hates Haircuts" when they are accidental.

"Devon asks Lily what is wrong" and Lily says that an evil, power-hungry maniac is coming to kill her baby boy because James was so stupid as to make the most untrustworthy of his friends the Secret Keeper and now she's going to have to sacrifice herself in the desperate hope that it will create a mysterious yet powerful charm which will protect her child for years to come.

"Stuff Devon Likes" This is a video created by a very opinionated young lady. Watching the whole five minutes isn't necessary. You'll get the gist in about 45 seconds.

"devon eats a hot pepper. and regrets it." Glad somebody learned that lesson for me.

"Devon wears Prada" ...she wishes.

"Devon was arrested for the murder of Carmen" but she didn't do it.

"Devon loves Sensa" even though she doesn't really know what it is.

Labels: HP, meme, used bookstores

1 comments

Wow, I tried that google suggestion. The 2nd option to come up was "leanne loves dave". And on Valentines week even!!

By  Anonymous, at 8:24 PM  

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